a challenging poem....

I (Tim) have been writing poems for a year or so now which I have found helpful as I try to process things that I've seen or been part of. The following poem has been a 'work in progress' for a month or more now and was birthed out of a situation we found ourselves in whilst in Madagascar.

It has taken me a while to have the 'courage' to post this on the blog as I know that it could be received in many different ways by many different people, however it was during the church service yesterday that I felt that I couldn't hold this back. 

The 'worship band' played a song which I'd heard about before but I'd never been in a 'service' when it had been played, so as I scanned through the words (not wanting to sing anything that I didn't truly believe) I was taken aback by the chorus which went something like 'I'll go anywhere Lord, I'll do anything Lord', I just couldn't sing that.

Throughout my life I've worked in the townships around Cape Town in South Africa, stayed with families in the rural Xhosa homelands in the Eastern Cape, visited HIV centers in Uganda, spent time sharing with inmates in a prison in Toamasina in Madagascar, as well as living in a remote village with the threat of malaria carrying mosquitoes, I've even taken time to work with challenging children and the handicapped here in England.

All of which has driven me to tears and compelled me to 'think of others before myself' to 'see everyone as my brother or sister' however it is only by the grace of God that I have been able to do that as my 'inner man' is screaming 'I just want to get back to normality!', the normality of my family, the daily routine, the life I used to live.

I don't really want to go to those most challenging places in the world, well at least not live there with the problems so therefore I couldn't bring myself to sing those words. I could have sung, 'I'd like to think I could go anywhere Lord' but to sing with my eyes shut hold my hands in the air with conviction seemed so hypocritical. 

The following poem isn't meant to point any fingers, the finger pointing is at myself and my heart so here goes.

Thoughts of a street child

I'm that child, the one with no name,
Remember on Saturday when I came,
With the others like me to share a meal,
I like those days they make me feel real.

You told me a story about a man from above,
A God man who died to show me his love,
He lived long ago, spent time with the poor,
Showed them compassion and opened his door.

You told me he loves you and that's why you love me,
And if I love him then surely I'll see,
That the way we behave will change for the best,
By sharing our all so others feel blessed.

You sing about him with your eyes closed tight,
Ready to do battle to take up the fight,
To reach those outside and bring them in,
Into a Kingdom where there is no more sin.

But today you don't see me or give me food,
You seem rather angry and treat me so rude,
Did I do something wrong what's different today,
Turing your back your eyes look away.

Why is Monday so different and Wednesday too,
Your making me feel bad what did I do?,
Its like I'm invisible you don't even see,
I thought you told me that you'd been set free.

I'm really confused now that I'm not even seen,
Was the man with the food all just a dream,
You seem too busy as you get in your car,
Driving away like a Hollywood star.

You said you followed that man from on high,
'He's changed my heart' I heard you oft cry,
'If you change yours too then all will be fine',
And then something about 'him being divine'.

But maybe this God doesn't love me, I'm far too poor,
I watch how you treat me and I don't know the score,
You act one way when it suits your needs,
But my life never changes no matter how good your small deeds.

My stomach is empty most of the time,
And the food you provide makes me feel fine,
But by Thursday the pains they cripple and hurt,
And most of the time I live in the dirt.

So I'm thinking of stop coming to the Saturday lunch,
When I see others like you, your kind of bunch,
And I'll stop on the streets with the other like me,
Dreaming of the God man who died on a tree. 

Grey Days......but bright futures...(another poem)

we'd forgotten how grey the English autumn days can be, it seems like we haven't seen the sun in weeks and this can be rather depressing. it got me (Tim) thinking about living life in the sun, actually living life to the full and how so many people seem to be living their lives like a 'grey day' without fulfilling all the potential in their lives. 

often people have been held back, mainly by the culture they've grown up in or in social circumstances that have never allowed them to express themselves to the full or allowed them to move beyond the mainstream and those are hard walls to break down. I totally understand that and I also understand some of our life choices have led us to what are now difficult situations to break out of.

anways that said I do believe that there is a life worth living that is oft different to those that we are currently living out and this led me to write this short poem, which is sort of a work in progress but I hope it gives you some idea of where my thoughts have been going.

Poem ;- Grey People


'People living in colours of grey, when above the clouds its a beautiful day,

Lives that have never full begun, not having experienced the brightness of sun,

Seeing the world with monochrome vision, the colour all drained with no definition,

Wandering round with eyes half open, with youthful dreams unfulfilled and broken,

If only our teachers had seen more potential, with classes of children this is so essential,

What of the life of rainbow filled light? with the future ahead all shinning and bright?

It's time to step out with no hesitation, onto a path that leads beyond other peoples expectation,

Don't wait for someone to say its OK, dream big!, this is your life create your own gig today.

There are colours out there that look a bit bright, but don't worry I know they won't bite,

So don't miss out on your bright tomorrow, by following a path that only leads to more sorrow.

The End!

another poem.....'sit,see, engage, do?'

over the last few months I (Tim) have taken to writing some poetry, see previous posts beds beds and more beds and sea, I have also tried to still myself, daily, even hourly and become present in the here and now rather than in the rush from here to there as has been my norm for many years. whilst sitting alone in the beautiful garden on Sunday morning, others had left to attend church or enjoy a scooterthon, so I had some very private time to ponder, as I was sitting the following thoughts came into my mind and I have put them together to form this 'poem'.

Sit, see, engage, do?

We all sit under the same stars and sky, we all sit upon the same earth and breath in the same air in some place or another on this vast planet of ours. As we sit in contemplation have we ever taken the time to still ourselves so much that we feel the chill of realisation that the place where we sit right now could be in some place on earth with different sights and outcomes, away from the current safety and the silence we enjoy.

Sit in an airport or a station, humanity moves with one accord, busy minds with fixed agendas on onward journeys, some fleeing from awkward situations, others beginning an adventure towards a long time dream.

Sit in a dark jungle or forest where creatures great and insects small gather all around, eery sounds confuse the senses, fear grips of the untold dangers lurking in the shadows near, maybe far or maybe even in the mind.

Sit in a theme park or at a fun fair among the excitement, hearts pumping, stomachs churning, joy and exhilaration in the eyes, what will the next minute bring on the journey riding on tracks through the skies.

Sit in the desert on in the arctic, sand or snow blind the eye, the heat, the cold all around overwhelming the comfort of life, breath so pained with air so hot, so cold.

Sit in a city or a town people making their living, buy and sell then sell then buy, in the cafe conversation gathers around drinks that bring stress relief to those who gain and those that lose.

Sit by a river or near a stream the endless motion of water moving, willows and reeds surround with fowl and their tiny offspring fluffy with their new found down.

Sit in the middle of a township, homes of cardboard tin and nails, children playing in the gutter, stench so strong with little hope of food that day, third world problems of health and poverty maybe today the first world eyes will see?

Sit on a beach or at the ocean tan lined bodies all around, taking their annual vacation far from work and the daily grind, pleasures abet are fleeting, dream of next years trip do abide.

Sit in the classroom, teacher standing with wisdom and knowledge to exchange, students their heads astounded at all they're hearing, eager minds do engage, but too soon the bell rings, 'schools out', now what career to fulfill.

Sit in the stadium or in a crowd, the team, the band, set the stage alight with passion energy, lost in wonder of hero's performance bring forth the cheers receive the applause.

Sit in the operating theater where life ebbs away a way, doctors scurry with procedures designed to keep death at bay, death that has been always coming, none knowing the time or day, but unhindered it will come at its god given hour that can be certain.

Sit in the prison or in a cell, inmates count the hours, the days, how long before their freedom brings them home to loved ones dear, how long before they'll end up back inside?

Sit in a camp or on a boat overloaded with frightened families fleeing the war that has torn homes and lives apart, trying to find a place of safety, born in the wrong place at the wrong time......

Now we're back and find you sitting, overwhelmed by peace and silence, but this time with a sense that someones watching from on high, His eyes and hands upon you imploring you to engage, with all you've seen, the question He sets before you at what cost compassion and lives of grace?

there you go, I hope you enjoyed my penning.