inside out

we've just returned from an incredible weekend away in Germany, with a short hop skip and jump across into Austria to cap it off. the reason for the trip was to watch one of our favourite singer songwriters who was 'supposed' to be in Munich as part of his european tour but the story of that can wait another day as the finer details are still emerging!

we were hosted by one of the students who we'd met during his time on the first Ukuqala team who had come to build the 'ecco' houses on the Village of Hope, we were blessed to receive three separate teams from the University of Stuttgart who joined us over three years and their work is still being enjoyed by the children and staff out in South Africa.

it was great to meet up with four of the students, who were only too willing to show us the sights, sounds and tastes of their newly adopted home city where they are all working. we truly walked our socks off as we explored no end of historic buildings, sampled some of the local brew and enjoyed the mainly pork based meals, including white sausage and the wonderful pork knuckle complete with sauerkraut and potato dumplings.

one thing you can't miss in either Munich or Salzburg (birth place of Mozart, and Julie Andrews apparently, ok maybe not her birth place but the filming of much of the cult movie 'the sound of music'!) is the huge amount of churches that dominate the skyline. in fact in Munich they have a height restriction that no building can be higher than their cathedral which is kinda nice.

the other thing that you'll find by reading the rest of this blog is that myself and Maz tried to visit all of them over the course of a couple of days, which is no mean feat but which is tough on the feet....and somewhat overwhelming for the senses.

now we both love churches and cathedrals and we also love architecture and ancient buildings so please don't get me wrong as i'm gonna share another of those thoughts that i hope won't be taken the wrong way...

...over the course of the last year there have been a number of times when the words of the famous R.E.M song come to mind....'that's me in the corner...losing my religion'.

there were times this weekend that those thoughts came racing back into my head, we'd stared at tens if not hundreds of golden icon's of 'the Christ' or 'mother and child' and stood in awe at the fresco's adorning the walls and ceilings of these magnificent buildings depicting such famous scenes as 'david and goliath' or 'the parting of the red sea', 'god's finger scribing the tablets of stone in the hands of Moses', 'saint Peter sinking in the stormy waters', 'Jonah being spewed onto an empty beach' or even 'satan tempting eve with a tasty looking apple', and i felt nothing, no connection with the creator, the loving God whom these images and icons are supposed to represent, to bring us closer, nearer, inside and who told us to love one another.

all i wanted to do was cry, cry because of the lostness of it all, the gold, the time and the effort in keeping all this spinning.....and i felt distant, not distant from god per se but distance from the God who flung the stars that filled the heavens above us as we wandered through the silent city of Salzburg in the middle of the night without the hussle and bussle of tens of thousands of tourists who we'd shared the day with, or who'd imagined the intricate detail of the leaves on the trees that adorn the tranquil 'English garden' in the middle of the third biggest city in Germany.

the song of the blackbird, the scent of a rose, the babbling stream, the rushing river, the magnificent mountains, the snow capped tops, the green fields, the rolling hills, these are a few of my favourite things......ooops just a tad too much like Maria there then!

over the years i've felt more connected to God as i've looked into the eyes of a child living with HIV in South Africa, stood in the midst of a tiny thatched church in Madagascar, stood rooted to the spot as an elephant mock charged me in Botswana, swum with turtles in Barbados or held the hand of a loved one in England.

am i losing my religion or have i lost my faith in the men who have created a religion which is becoming more and more removed from where i stand, from where i receive my renewal, from where i feel more alive...

....i think i'm inside out.



no photos but i've put a few up on my instagram

a time to pause....

Maz' mum with our eldest grandson
(now 6 years old!)

you may have noticed how quiet the blog has been over the last month, or maybe you didn't, either way we wanted to update you on whats been happening since we arrived back from Madagascar.

well the long and the short of it is that we have mainly been spending valuable time with Maz' Mum (Judy) who sadly passed away last Monday evening at the Florence Nightingale hospice at Stoke Mandeville hospital.

it was amazing to be able to share the last few days with this incredible women who has been such an encouragement to us and it was also great that we have been hosted by Maz' sister (Viv) and brother-in-law (Mark) who live near enough to the hospice that we were able to walk up to see Judy.

capturing a young Judy

it's never easy to say goodbye but we are so thankful that Judy was well for us to fully engage with her and that we were able to share some further special times with her which included over these last few weeks. these included a visiting a local pub for a traditional english roast lunch with Maz and Viv, enjoying a fresh roast pork roll from the spit BBQ at the Whitchurch village Mayday feast and for us to make several visits to her at home prior to her admission into the hospice.

celebrating Judy's life with friends and family 

Maz and Viv have been a great support to each other too and for them to have this time together has also been very special. 

we are pleased to be able to continue to stop with Mark and Viv until our future plans become clearer.

there are so many memories we could share here but then again that might take you a few days to read through, so we'll end off by saying a huge thank you to all of you who have prayed or lifted us up during this time and please continue to think of Maz' Dad who is now having to cope without the love of his life 

below is a poem that I (Tim) wrote and read at the funeral.

Judy late last year......

Stop the world!

doesn't anyone know that earth has just lost an angel? 
Life continues on as before,
trains chug along their well set tracks,
planes scratch the sky with trails so white in their wake,

even the tiny birds sing their merry little songs 

Stop the world!
doesn't anyone know our love one has just passed away?
Life continues on as before,
children whoop with delight in their play,
cats sleeping for most of the day,
even the traffic lights still maintain their colourful cycle, red to amber, amber to green, then red and on again and on again

Stop the world!
doesn't anyone know our loved one has stepped across the thin line between life and death?
Life continues on as before,
babies cry for their milky bottles,
Church bells sound out their jolly peel,
even the clocks maintain their ticking and their tocking, tick, tock then tick then tock

Time and tide stop for no man although many have tried in vain and tried and failed again
So the grains of sand have all made their slow but steady way to the bottom of the hour glass
And now all we have are our memories,
of happier brighter more joyful days,
when summers were longer,
snows much deeper
and life was happy and gay

Stop the world!
Doesn't anyone know that our loved one has joined the throngs who've gone before at peace at last?
And life continues on as before,
but not for us,
not today,
today will always remain the day that you passed away!